Bomberman's Soccer Game
by Astrobot7000
Summary: What's so wrong about a simple Soccer game... plus nudity? All chapters complete. Please Read And Review!
1. Chapter 1

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Bomberman's Naked Soccer Game

A very good friend of mine wrote something like this about Harry Potter, in the letter format anyway. So I decided to take a shot at it.

Main characters:

Bomberman: The galaxy's protector and guardian. He has the energy from the Elemental Stones that allows him to create bombs from thin air! He also has access to a large amount of gizmo's, gadgets, and vehicles.

Pommy: Bomberman's recently found sidekick, a strange Kirby like characters, which seems to have a not so big intelligence at times, but other times seems, to have a larger one, go fig…

Ralph: Another inhabitant of Planet Bomber. He enlisted as Bomberman's successor to learn the ropes of what Bomberman does. It seems as though he volunteered to prove himself to Bomberman as a worthy successor. Though he is a coward and fights with Pommy a lot.

Ray / Max: A robot created to be superior to Bomberman. He does not need the Elemental Stones to create his bombs, he has super strength, and he can fly. Ray is his alter ego, disguised an inhabitant of Planet Bomber. As Ray he is easy going and a nice guy. When he transforms to Max though, he is arrogant, mean, and usually causes more trouble with his attitude than he is worth. Also as Max, he is sort of a live wire and isn't very dependable.

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To: All Employee's Of the Bomber Base  
**From:** Chief Technician, Brad Danly   
**Re: **Naked Soccer  
  
As reported, by part of your foolish use of Truth or Dare house rules (anyone who does not do what they have to do is flogged!), the next annual soccer game conducted by The Bomber Base team will be in the buff.  
All betting regarding the various sizes and weights of the players equipment is not condoned. Should a measuring stick be seen in the vicinity of the field on game day, there will be a suspension from work and your privlages will be revoked for 3 months.  
Employees in first through third years playing on the team are exempted from this display, as they were non-participants in the foolish game. They are to remain in their Soccer uniforms.   
Given the fact jock cups cannot be used in this game as per the restrictions of a "naked Soccer challenge", any male employee who wishes to protect their "package" is out of luck.  
I would like to stress to all participants that this type of "dare" from a Truth and Dare game is unacceptable, but technically binding. It has been brought to my attention that if anyone opts out of participation… the penalty will be a sever flogging. Please do try to engage brains before making foolish choices.   
–Chief Technician, Brad Danly

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To: Level 5 Teammates   
**From:** Ralph   
**Re:** Game Next Week   
  
Okay, so we all know we're playing naked. Letting it all hang out. Exposing our bits. Flaunting our glory... it's no use fighting it… we're stuck with it.  
Now, the last going bid for the Pommy's package came in at a miserable 2.08 inches. Anyone out there, at ALL, care to dare higher? Oh, and Bomberman? Your fan-club has dumped the mother-load for your dimensions. You might want to consider posing for 'em.   
-Ralph, Game Coordinator

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To: Female Employees  
**From:** Lilith (On planet for this event)   
**Re:** Game Next Week   
  
We've got Ray! As we all know he is a robot, and his optic units also function as cameras, and because all such equipment is banned, he has gladly agreed to film the "interesting" parts of the game for us.  
  
–Lilith

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To: Ralph  
**From:** Bomberman  
**Re:** Level 5 Teammates Memo  
  
You are **SO** very dead.   
–Bomberman

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To: Ralph  
**From:** Lilith   
**Re:** You have a BIG problem   
  
Dude, we're going to lose the bet. Pommy's gone AWOL. Noone knows where he is.  
BTW, Bomberman and crew have it out for you. They've been practicing beat-the-jackass and their aim is PHENOMENAL! They are pretty pissed that you caused this whole game in the first place.  
-Lilith

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To: Lilith  
**From:** Ralph   
**Re:** You have a BIG problem 

Let them be pissed…  
After this game Im gonna be friggin RICH off the bets!  
-Ralph

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To: All employees  
**From:** Ralph   
**Re:** Where the hell is he???

We are still trying to locate the whereabouts of Pommy. If anyone has any information please contact any team coordinator.  
- Ralph

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To: Level 5 Team   
**From:** Bomberman   
**Re:** The Damn Situation Ralph Got Us In.!  
  
Here's an idea... let's concede the game. LET us have shame. We wont be flogged for chickening out… we can simply say we did not have enough team members after our goalie Pommy vanished! I'm not going out there naked!   
-Bomberman

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To: Level 5 Team   
**From:** Ralph   
**Re:** Concede the game?!   
  
We can't possibly concede the game! Are you mad?! If we even consider it, think of what everyone's gonna say. Not only do we have our personal prides at stake here, but also the glory of our Level 5!   
And if anyone else is even considering this idea, we'll go straight to Brad Danly. He's not going to let his favorite team go down like that!  
Oh, and Bomberman, if only the bets on the size of your package were paid company sick days, we'd all be on retirement by next week!--Ralph

*

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To: Level 5 Team   
**From:** Bomberman   
**Re:** Concede the game?! 

Ralph… your FUCKING DEAD!!!  
Not only did you get us into this situation in the first place, you made Pommy vanish and everyone is worried sick about him, you informed Lilith and the Elemental Knight about this, and to top it all off, you're most likely gonna get us KILLED OUT THERE!!!  
You wont live through the night…  
-Bomberman

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To: Bomberman  
**From:** Rukifelth  
**Re:** House Pride  
  
I've just been informed by email about this Naked Soccer Match and your reactions. Bomberman, what do you think you're doing?! All you simply need to do is get some sort of surgery to enhance your package! Sure it will cost you thousands of dollars… but when everyone sees how wrong they were on their bets… you'll be rolling in so much cash that you can easily pay it off!  
-Rukifelth

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To: Rukifelth   
**From:** Bomerman   
**Re:** **Re:** House Pride  
  
Go to Hell.   
– Bomberman

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To: All Employees   
**From:** Brad Danly   
**Re:** Pommy!!!   
  
Good news! We've found Pommy. The little guy had been hiding in the dumpster behind the Bomber Base for three days. We have decided not to flog him due to his innocent nature, however, if any one has any ideas, they will not be sparred. Nor will Pommy if he repeats this offense.  
-Brad Danly

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To: Ralph  
**From:** Pommy  
**Re: **Welcome back little friend

Ralph…  
Pommy will cut you bitch! MYU!  
-Pommy

-*

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To: Ralph  
**From:** Ray/Max  
**Re:** Game Date Pending

Hey man, I just got word that a lot of the level five's including Bomberman and Pommy are planning to get you dude. Normally I would join them, but I have so much money riding on this game that if something happens to you, and the Level 5 Team cannot play, I'll be broke!  
-Ray/Max

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To: Ray/Max  
**From:** Ralph  
**Re: Re:** Game Date Pending

I have already taken the necessary precautions to protect my life. I have enlisted the Elemental Knights, Lilith, and Rukifelth as personal bodyguards. They want to see this (and make a profit) just as much as anyone else.  
-Ralph 

* ****

To: Pommy  
**From:** Bomberman  
**Re: **The plan

Remember to be there at midnight. We execute this plan tonight! Tell all the other Level 5 Team Members…  
-Bomberman


	2. Chapter 2

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Bomberman's Naked Soccer Game

Chapter 2

To: Level 5 Team

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From: Ralph

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Re: How do you like that jackass?

Well it would seem your little plan to jump me backfired. Someone squealed.

Have fun worrying about the traitor in your midst!

-Ralph

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To: Pommy

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Who the hell?

Who the hell stabbed us in the back?

When I get my hands on the bastard I'm gonna rip him a new one!

Although during the game would be a perfect time to do it. With him (her) being naked and all it would make job easier. Bomb right up the ass.

Man, we really need to think of a way out of this game!

-Bomberman

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To: Bomberman

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From: Behemos

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Re: Information Requested

I may have something that concerns the information of the traitor.

Meet me behind the dumpster at noon.

-Behemos

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To: Lilith

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From: Rukifelth

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Re: Betting Information

I require more information about the odds policies and such for this event.

If you could meet me somewhere… private… I would feel at ease to discuss the matter.

-Rukifelth

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To: Rukifelth

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From: Lilith

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Re: Re: Betting Information

Sweety, please piss off. =)

-Lilith

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To: Zoniha

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From: Zeal

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Re: Meeting

Did you notice Ashtarth staring at me at the Elemental Knights bidding meeting last night?

I think he was checking me out.

Oh, and Ray has agreed to help us put together the extortion portfolios for after the event.

We're gonna take these suckers for all their worth!

-Zeal

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To: Behemos

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Re: Information Requested

Upon the information you have given me… your payment shall be 5 bucks.

Sorry man, that's all I have right now.

Anyway, I really do thank you for the information you have given me.

Don't think this will go unnoticed!

-Bomberman

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To: All Employees

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Notice

I know who betrayed the Level 5 Team, and I am asking that person to step forward.

If this person does, his punishment will be far worse then it will if they do not.

Keep in mind, that I indeed do know who the culprit is.

-Bomberman

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To: Pommy

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Re: Notice

Do you think they bought it?

The information from Behemos was cryptic at best… only a few scarce clues to follow.

-Bomberman

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To: All Players In The Upcoming Game

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From: Sora G. Silverwind

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Re: Suggestions?

  
Given the fact jocks and cups cannot be used in this game as per the restrictions of "house rules," any male player who wishes to learn of a genitalia protection pill may contact me privately. 

This Pill is great for so many reasons. After only 3 days of dosage your genitalia will already be cased in huge amounts of calluses not even a sledgehammer can break through.

Reversal techniques are still being researched.

For only one pill it is 12.99, the dosage is 4 pills a day for 1 week!

WHAT A BARGAIN!

-Sora G. Silverwind

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To: All Employees

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From: Brad Danly

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Re: Re: Suggestions?

When posting on the main forum, please do not post spam.

-Brad Danly

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To: Pommy

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From: Regulus

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Re: MYU!

I got your message hairball… and I just gotta say…

That's the sickest thing I ever heard in my life!!!

I'll be there on game day.

-Regulus

*

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To: Lilith

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From: Ray/Max

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Re: Analogue or Digital

The answer to your question is both.

I can produce both digital recordings and standard analogue pictures.

And the answer to your second question is… yes. I do have the staff working on the "Bomberman Nude" calendar as we speak.

We're gonna be so rich!

-Ray/Max

*

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To: Elemental Knights

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From: Regulus

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Re: Game Day

It has come to my attention that there is a certain event coming up that I was not invited to!

WHY DID YOU NOT INVITE ME!!!

-Regulus

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To: Bomberman

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From: Backstabber

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Re: Re: Notice

Do you honestly believe I was going to fall for that bluff?

You have no idea who alerted Ralph to your little scheme… and that suits me!

There's nothing you can do to stop this game and me from getting rich!

-Wouldn't You Love To Know

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To: Elemental Knight

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From: Ashtarth

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Re: Re: Game Day

Should we tell him the truth?

-Ashtarth

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To: Ralph

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From: Rensuko S. Kaziato 

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Re: Suggestions?

Umm yeah… I have a suggestion!

Seeing as how Im on the Level 5 Team… I say… SCREW YOU!!!

Why should I have to run around naked kicking a ball because you took a stupid dare.

Out first plan may have failed buddy… but rest assured… you will not live to se the game played.

- Rensuko S. Kaziato

*

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To: Ashtarth

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From: Bealfeal

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Re: Re: Re: Game Day

Tell Regulus the truth about why we didn't invite him?

YEAH RIGHT!

And end up his dinner?

Just make up something!

-Bealfeal

*

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To: Pommy

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Re: Re: Notice

Damnit! He called my bluff.

I'm hot on the trail of clues that Behemos had left me… but I feel that I wont make it in time to find out who the backstabber is, so that he wont ruin our next plot to kill Ralph, and cancel the game.

- Bomberman

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To: Regulus

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From: Zoniha

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Game Day

We did invite you!

It just got lost in the space mail!

-Zoniha

*

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To: Bomberman

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From: Pommy

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Notice

MYU! Pommy's butt itches.

-Pommy


	3. Chapter 3

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Bomberman's Naked Soccer Game

Chapter 3

This is just a note:

This story is a lot easier to read if you read the reply line. The messages are out of order, and reading which message each message is responding to makes this story much easier and far more fun to read.

*

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To: All female employees

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From: LinkGirl (President of the Bomberman Fanclub)

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Re: Bomberman Fanclub

Okay girls, the moment we have been waiting for is arriving shortly.

Just be patient! Oh, and Ray has said that all analogue pictures will be 40 dollars each. Don't forget your wallet.

-LinkGirl

*

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To: All employees

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From: Ray

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Re: Betting?

The wager on Pommy's package is still miserably low.

Come on… someone has to bet higher!

-Ray

*

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To: Ralph

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From: Dark-And-Shadow1

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Re: Game Day

So we have been waiting for the decision on when the official day will be. Haven't you decided yet?

-Dark-And-Shadow1

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To: Bomberman

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From: You'll never know!

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Re: I hate you

Do not try any more plans to cancel the game Bomberman. If you do I will go directly to Brad Danly with that "information" I have on you concerning last years Christmas party. You have been warned.

-You will never find out

*

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To: Dark-And-Shadow1

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From: Ralph

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Re: Re: Game Day

The official date has now officially been set as one week from today.

-Ralph

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To: LinkGirl (President of the Bomberman Fanclub)

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From: SpacePirate Khan

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Re: Re: Bomberman Fanclub

I would just like to thank you for mailing me about this little event. Bomberman has defeated me numerous times, and I cannot wait to see how pathetic he is compared to me in the nude. He may have won the battles… but I'll get the glory!

-SpacePirate Khan

*

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To: The Snitch

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Re: I hate you

First you rat out our plan to get Ralph and cancel the game… and now you're extorting me???

Who the hell are you? I WILL FIND OUT!!!

-Bomberman

*

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To: Pommy

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Got anything yet?

No Pommy, I have not found out anything from following the thin trail of Behemos' information.

Rest assured though… We will find him… or I'll just blow everyone up!

-Bomberman

*

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From: Zoniha

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To: Ray/Max

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Re: Gotcher pictures right here

Put me down for 90 copies of Bomberman picture, 12 Pommy pictures, 3 Rensuko pictures, 12 Cluex576, and 3 of all other players.

Man… Im gonna be so rich after I blackmail all these suckers!

-Zoniha

*

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From: Brain Bomber

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To: Ralph

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Re: Information about event

Why thank you Ralph for informing me of my enemies little "outing"

Hehehe

-Brain Bomber

*

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To: Crystal Bomber

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From: Ralph

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Re: What is all this I hear about nudity and soccer?

Yes indeed it is true.

You are welcome to attend. The match will be held in five days.

*

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To: Behemos

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From: Bomberman

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Re: HELP!

I need more information Behemos. The thin trail of clues you provided went nowhere

-Bomberman

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To: All level 5 employees

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From: Cluex576

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Re: Game Day Announced

Damnit.

Listen guys, we have to get out of playing this game no matter what!

I can't go out there naked… not that I have anything to hide… okay?

-Cluex576

*

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To: All employees

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From: Brad Danly

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Re: Game Day Announced

I will once again repeat that all gambling during this match is strictly forbidden with dire consequences.

That is all.

-Brad Danly

*

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To: Ray/Max

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From: Lilith

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Re: Re: Game Day Announced

Look man! We have more money on bets then this planets ENTIRE economy makes in three years!

Damn we are gonna walk out of this billionaires!

-Lilith

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To: Ralph

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From: Crystal bomber

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Re: **Re: **What is all this I hear about nudity and soccer?

Thanks a lot man.

I'll be there for sure!

-Crystal Bomber

*

To: All Elemental Knights

From: Regulus

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Game Day

HELL NO!

I don't buy that shit about me having BO.

Now why did you really not invite me?

-Regulus

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To: Level five employees

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From: Pommy

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Re: Re: HELP!

MYU! Pommy encourages any who have information about back stabber to tell! Tell Pommy or Bomberman!

-Pommy

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To: Zeal

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From: Molok

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Re: Yeah… so what?

So…

Do you have a date to this event?

-Molok

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To: All employees

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From: Sailor Taichichi Vegeta 

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Re: Can't wait for the event!

You and me both sister!

Oh, and to any of the "bookies," whats the odds on that new recruit for level fives package?

- Sailor Taichichi Vegeta 

*

Thus ends another chapter.

Come on guys, let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

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Bomberman's Naked Soccer Game

Chapter 4

This is just a note:

This story is a lot easier to read if you read the reply line. The messages are out of order, and reading which message each message is responding to makes this story much easier and far more fun to read.

*

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To: Molok

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From: Zeal

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Re: Re: Yeah… so what?

No Molok, I don't have a date for the event.

Let's keep it that way.

-Zeal

*

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To: SpacePirateKhan

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From: Brain Bomber

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Re: Team up?

I must say… teaming up seems like a tempting offer, but I have this hot new intern and she thinks I'm really evil, and it would make me look weak if I teamed up. After I get some poontang I will definitly contact you though.

-Brain Bomber

*

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To: Pommy

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From: Bomberman

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Re: What now?

I don't know what to do Pommy.

Behemos has no further clues, the snitch has got us by the balls, and I don't see any way this game is getting canceled. Our only hope of escape is bailing… but do you honestly think it's worth a flogging?

Looks like we're going to have to just bit the bullet here.

-Bomberman

*

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To: Brad Danly

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From: Rukifelth

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Re: Game Questions

Of course your enemies will be attending the game!

They are galactic citizens with every right and freedom you have… granted they are evil galactic citizens… but that is no ground for discrimination. Besides, as a fellow space pirate I take offense at that!

-Rukifelth

*

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To: Zoniha

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From: Molok

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Re: Uh-Huh

So, I heard your still single.

Got a date for the event?

-Molok

*

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To: Ashtarth

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From: Zeal

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Game Day

Do you think we should tell Regulus the real reason we didn't invite him?

-Ashtarth

*

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To: All Level 5 Employees

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From: Ray/Max

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Re: Here it comes

To all employees who do not want to be extorted.

Please pay 6000 dollars in unmarked bills to me, at least 4 hours before game day, and your photos will "accidentally" be over exposed.

-Ray

*

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To: Ray/Max

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Re: Here it comes

DAMN YOU!!! You're helping them now? Fuck you Ray! You're dead to me now! DEAD TO ME!!!

-Bomberman

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To: Bomberman

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From: Ray/Max

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Re: Re: Re: Here it comes

Now, now... Talk like that will get your dossier out on the streets faster.

-Ray

*

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To: Molok

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From: Zoniha

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Re: Re: Uh-Huh

Hell no!

And who the hell brings a "date" to a naked soccer game?

Sick freak!

-Zoniha

*

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To: Pommy

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Re: What Now?

Can you believe this?

Even our own teammates are selling us out!

SCREW THIS! I'm taking the flogging

-Bomberman

*

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To: Mujo

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From: Brain Bomber

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Re: Invitation

That's right, you are also invited to the event.

Place your bets now.

Odds are 3 and 0 on Pommy!

-Brain Bomber

*

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To: Zeal

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From: Ashtarth

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Game Day

You want to tell Regulus why we didn't invite him?

You be my guest… just let me know when you do so I can be off-planet at the time.

-Astarth

*

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To: Lilith

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From: Molok

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Re: Courting?

So I noticed that there really isn't anything going on between you an Rukifelth at the moment and was just wondering if you had a date to the event?

-Molok

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To: Bomberman

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From: Wouldn't you like to know

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Re: Drop Out

I heard you have opted to take the flogging instead of the game.

Be aware, that should you do this, I will dispense the information about your little "antic" at the Labor Day parade.

*

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To: All elemental knights

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From: Regulus

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Game Day

Is anyone gonna tell me why I wasn't invited?

ANYONE?

People will start dying very soon otherwise…

*

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To: Molok

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From: Lilith

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Re: Re: Courting?

Molok, sweetie…

I suggest you hire a call-girl… cuz it sure as hell aint happenin with me!

-Lilith

*


	5. Chapter 5

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Bomberman's Naked Soccer Game

Chapter 5

This is just a note:

This story is a lot easier to read if you read the reply line. The messages are out of order, and reading which message each message is responding to makes this story much easier and far more fun to read.

This chapter is a short one. I have been incredibly busy recently. I'm lucky if I can write for 5 minutes a day now. But my schedule will be a blank slate in a week or so. So I'll have plenty of time to make more stuff then.

*

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To: All elemental knights

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From: Regulus

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: **Re:** Game Day

It has been a week now and noone has answered me truthfully.

While I type this I have Ashtarth between crosshairs on a sniper rifle.

If I do not get a response in two minutes… he will be shot.

-Regulus

*

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To: All Females

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From: Molok

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Re: Available

Just a reminder to all females.

I am available for the big event.

-Molok

*

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To: Pommy

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Re: Uh-Oh

To answer your question, the big day is only two days away!

Unless we figure something out really quick… I fear we are gonna have to bite the bullet and go out there.

That won't happen though, if all else fails I'll just blow this whole damn place up. 

-Bomberman

*

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To: Ray/Max

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From: Bomberman

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Re: Re: **Re: Re: **Here It Comes

You will die for this Ray. How dare you do this to me!!!

Forget everyone else… but me? I will kill you.

-Bomberman

*

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To: Ray/Max

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From: Lilith

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Re: Bribes

What the hell Ray?

I thought we were in this together!!!

Now I hear you are going behind my back and doing your own extorting? 

What the fuck???

-Lilith

*

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To: LinkGirl (president of the Bomberman Fan Club)

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From: Ray/Max

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Re: Business Deal

The deal is off.

If you wish to have the pictures you will not only pay me 20% of all profits you make from the extortion's and the sales of the calendar… but you will also pay me $20 a picture.

Either my way or the highway.

-Ray/Max

*

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To: All employees

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From: Brad Danly

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Re: Tragic News

At 9 PM last night Ashtarth suffered a bullet shot to the shoulder.

He is currently in the ICU.

We advise all employees to seek shelter while we try to find our gun toting lunatic.

Be safe.

-Brad Danly

*

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To: All elemental knights

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From: Behemos

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: **Re:** Game Day

Shit man!

Regulus has disappeared and Ashtarth is in bad shape!

We have to do something!

-Behemos

*

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To: All elemental knights

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From: Zoniha

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: **Re:** Game Day

Last night I think he was creeping around my room.

I could have sworn I saw his shadow running off! It looked like he had a knife in his hand.

-Zoniha

*

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To: Lilith

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From: LinkGirl (President of the Bomberman Fan club)

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Re: The shaft

I heard from one of the girls that Ray has given you the shaft as well.

This cannot be tolerated.

We need to take affirmative action!

Now!

The big day is tomorrow!

-LinkGirl

*

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To: All level 5 employees

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From: Ralph

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Re: Big Day Tomorrow!

Make sure you all get a good night's sleep tonight!

The event is tomorrow!

-Ralph

*

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To: Ralph

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From: ALL LEVEL 5 EMPLOYEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

****

Re: Re: Big Day Tomorrow!

FUCK YOU!!!

- ALL LEVEL 5 EMPLOYEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*

Almost to the end of the story folks… Hope your enjoying it so far.


	6. Chapter 6

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Bomberman's Naked Soccer Game

Chapter 6

This is just a note:

This story is a lot easier to read if you read the reply line. The messages are out of order, and reading which message each message is responding to makes this story much easier and far more fun to read.

*

****

From: LinkGirl (President of the Bomberman Fan Club)

****

To Lilith

****

Re: Re: The Shaft

Yes I totally agree. We must stop Ray right away, but with only 28 hours until the big event… what are we going to do?

-Lilith

*

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To: All elemental knights

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From: Baelfael

****

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: **Re:** Game Day

I found a bloodied knife jabbed into my pillow this morning! We have to stop Regulus before he kills us all!

- Baelfael

*

****

To: Baelfael

****

From: Zheal

****

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: **Re:** Game Day

Yeah, we would if we could find him. He's just vanished. Although before I went to sleep I could have sworn I saw a laser pointer shining in through my window. I left him a message telling him the truth of why we did not invite him… but I think he doesn't believe it. I fear he has gone off the deep end for good this time.

-Zheal

*

****

To: Ray/Max

****

From: Your worst nightmare

****

Re: Re: Business Deal 

Hello Ray. I see that you have been trying to take all the money for yourself. Well I have far too much invested into this little game then you and your silly little pictures can imagine. However., my investment doubles should LinkGirl and Lilith obtain their funds as well. 

You will still supply them the photos, otherwise, I'll just have to divulge that little secret you thought noone knew about. You know… you and that little sher-ah you had with the computer. I'm sure the higher ups at the Bomber Base would love to hear about that.

I outsmarted Bomberman… and I can easily do it to you as well.

- He who is now known as The Snitch

*

****

To: All employees

****

From: Ralph

****

Re: This space intentionally left blank

Oh come on! Someone has to bet higher on Pommy's endowment! 2.3 inches max? Come on! He has to be 5 inches at least!

-Ralph

*

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To: Lilith, Linkgirl

****

From: Ray/Max

****

Re: Asshole

Upon further consideration I have decided to include both of you back in on our previous arrangement. Sorry for the inconvenience.

-Ray/Max

*

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To: All females

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From: Molok

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Re: No Way

I am still available for the big event.

-Molok

*

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To: Lilith

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From: LinkGirl

****

Re: Re: Asshole

He just changed his mind? What was all that about?

- LinkGirl

*

****

To: LinkGirl

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From: Lilith

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Re: Re: Re: Asshole

No fucking idea.

-Lilith

*

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To: All elemental knights

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From: Regulus

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: **Re:** Game Day

Just remember you brought this upon yourselves infidels!

-Regulus

*

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To: All level 5 employees

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From: Bomberman

****

Re: End of the line

Well fellow teammates it seems that there is no way out of this… if anyone has any good idea… now would be the time to speak up!

Time left until the game: 12 hours

-Bomberman

*

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To: SpacePirateKhan

****

From: Brain Bomber

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Re: Bets

Heh… well I'm betting he's over 6 inches! Double or nothing!

-Brain Bomber

*

****

To: All Employees

****

From: Brad Danly

****

Sub: More tragic news

Unfortunately another elemental knight was struck down last night.

Zoniha was found tied up and found unconscious. Apparently she was being tortured with a tazer. She as well as the previous victim, Ashtarth, remains in the ICU in the Bomber Base.

Fear not employees… we are doing all we can and rest assured… we will apprehend the perpetrator.

-Brad Danly

*

****

To: Al employees

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From: Ralph

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Sub: GAME TIME!

Alright, the big event is in one hour! Hoo-Rah!

-Ralph

*

One more chapter to go… well folks this journey is almost over… I'm almost touched! Fortunately such moments pass quickly! Will Molok get a date? Will Regulus become sane again? Who is the bastard who is ratting out everyone? How big will Pommy's wang be?

All these answers on the final chapter…


	7. Chapter 7

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Bomberman's Naked Soccer Game

Chapter 7

Exert from Pommy's personal logs:

MYU! Pommy never liked soccer. Good thing Pommy did not have to play.  
Pommy is happy for that. Bomberman was also happy. MYU! If Ralph is reading  
Pommy's diary again, Pommy will pummel Ralph. Pommy must go eat now.

-------------------

Exert from Bomberman's personal logs:

What a fine day. Sometimes things truly are so bad that they could not possibly  
get any worse. Just when I thought I would be showing all at that god damn  
soccer game, I was saved at the last minute. In fact, we all were. It seems from  
what I can gather of the insurmountable chaos, that someone armed with a sniper  
rifle was taking out random members of the audience. I'm not sure who would do such  
a heinous act, but I commend him on his felonious doings. Now that the danger of being  
flogged is gone, next time I see Ralph I am going to kill him. I don't mean a nice and easy  
bomb explosion… oh no… not at all. I will torture him for hours upon hours until he  
wishes I would just kill him, but I wont. Man… I am starting to sound like Max. My only  
regret is that I never found out who that snitch was.

-------------------

  
Exert from Ray's personal logs:

Well, it is a shame my monetary investment was never fulfilled. However, my losses  
were nothing compared to Ralph's. Because the game was stopped before it started  
by some insane vigilante in the stands, Ralph got to keep all the bookie money that  
he had collected. As I'm sure can be well imagined, every criminal in the galaxy (not  
to mention all the average Joe's that placed wagers) are going to be out looking for  
him. Unfortunately now Lilith hates me, but that is the nature of the beast. Anyway,  
I'm missing my favorite show, so I shall write in you late.

-------------------

Exert from Regulus' personal logs:

Serves those fools right. To deny me the privilege of the truth is more a crime than  
murder. I deserve the truth… the sweet sweet truth. Oh how it haunts me. Why is it that  
when you kill a man on the battlefield you're a hero, but if you strike out in justice it's  
labeled murder. The truth… it is justice… justice I will never be able to afford now. The  
cost has gone up to 1 million dollars. The bill collectors drinking lighter fluid. The truth.  
The fools had it coming. At least I know my sniper rifle will never let me down.

--------------------

Exert from Brad Danly's personal logs:  
  
The chaos. The horrible chaos. As the announcer started to introduce the players the  
first shots were fired. The screams pierced the shrill whistle of the ammunition. Over one  
hundred people were killed in the sampede, while only 2 people were shot. It was horrible.  
We have currently arrested Brain Bomber and Space Pirate Khan for the murders. We have also  
begun to investigate other well known Bomberman enemies on this horrible act. We shall not let  
this villain go free. Unfortunately all the Elemental Knights (except for Regulus) had been murdered  
a few hours before the game. Behemons' body was never found. Regulus is currently helping us   
in the search for the killer. With him on the trail, we cannot fail.

-----------------------

Exert from Ralph's personal logs:

I can hear the pounding on my door as I write this. They are coming for me. I cannot return their   
money either. I knew purchasing that automatic make-up applier and pedicure might not be the  
best idea. Why the fuck did I have to loose that receipt. My only chance is to jump out the window.  
Here I go!

----------------------

Exert from Behemos' personal logs:

It was all so easy. It was so simple to play the sides against each other. So easy to launder the  
money toward my own private accounts. It was flawless. That fool Ralph will take all the blame  
while I get away scott free. It was unfortunate that all the other Elemental Knights had to take  
the blame, but what's a few lives gone? Not much. Hehehehe. Now if you will excuse me… I have  
a tropical planet to retire to.  
  


The End


End file.
